Assertiveness vs Aggression. How to use the former without falling into the latter. Let’s first define the two ideas – Assertiveness is about stating clearly with confidence what it is that you need from others without disregarding their needs – speaking firmly yet with empathy. Aggression is when you ask for something for yourself without consideration of the impact on others – when you demand without concern, when all you want is to win. We all at times need to speak assertively, especially if we are managers or group leaders. Being assertive helps us “get things done” when other things distract us. It helps us find “win-win” solutions, since we always care about the other person. So as you assert yourself today, make sure you stay away from aggression – think about others first.